Fuckin' 4chan...

I came across this when it was reposted in an article on a site I regularly check.  I'm guess this is almost definitely fake, but I still don't know how to react.  That someone imagined the scenario to begin with, even if only for shits n' giggles makes me wonder what his damage is.  Though at least it's not as bad as HP mpreg slashfics.  Oh my God.

Want it from behind while you play Super Mario Brothers ? - m4w

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Date: 2008-07-02, 2:35PM EDT


Do you love to play Super Mario Brothers on the Classic Nintendo System? Do you like to get tagged from behind while you do it? This is the post for you then.

You must know your way around the game before we meet, must be open to anal sex, also able to fake an orgasm is a plus.

I will send you the address to a hotel and a room number. When you arrive the door will be open. Please come in close and lock the door and close the shades if they are still open. I will be in the bathroom and the door will be closed. Turn on the TV and the Nintendo. Remove all of your clothing. Turn off all lights in the room and kneel down on the bed so you are directly in the light of the TV. You need to be facing the TV with your butt in the air pointed toward the pillows on the bed.

Press the start button on the controller when you are ready. I will hear the sound and turn the light off in the bathroom and come out. You will not look directly at me, only look at the TV. When the first level starts I will begin to finger you and lick you. I will be using lots of lube as well.

When you reach the end of level one, make sure to trigger the fireworks. This is vital to the entire experience. I must hear the fireworks. When level 2 begins and Mario walks into the pipe, I will penetrate you. You may say things like, "MORE", "HARDER", "YES", "FUCK ME", but nothing else. I will continue having sex until the level ends. DO NOT take the secret level skip. If you die I will pull out and spank you until the level restarts.

When you reach the flag you must again trigger the fireworks, and also orgasm. I will pull out. When the 1-3 starts I will penetrate your ass. You are allowed to say something like "OH GOD", "YES", OR "IT HURTS" no other conversation is allowed.

When level 1-4 starts I will alternate between holes as I see fit. You may beg me to cum inside or outside of you, depending on what you want. When boss falls and you reach the princess I will pull out and blow my load where you have convinced me I want too. You may then say something like "Thanks", "It was great", "I loved it", "Don't stop"

If I am impressed you may continue playing and I will continue to pleasure you. If I am not, I will turn the Nintendo Off and return to the bathroom. At this time you may clean your self with the towel that is beside the bed. Turn the lights on, redress yourself and leave.

I may come back out and talk to you as you dress but the conversation will most likely be short and revolve around scheduling another time to get together.

I'm intrigued by the new single being released by Grace Jones.  Especially the video for it, her song "Corporate Cannibal".  Jones' was always a very striking person.  I can't remember a damn thing about the 80's Bond or Conan movie she was in... except for her presence.  I may have only been a kid, but it's something that sticks with me, even now. 

The other day I came across a blog entry on Coilhouse about her, The Triumphantly Warped Return of Grace Jones.  The visuals are highly stylized and a bit unnerving.  It's very simple.  It's Jones' against a white backdrop, and her image being stretched, pulled and moving around in different ways in time with the music.  That's all.  But between her, the visuals and the music accompanying it it left an impression on me.  I like it.  I think I'll have to make a point of picking up her album when it's released this October.

I just listened to this song for the first time last night.  I've heard of The Wombats before, but when I saw the title of the song I had to listen.  Though to anyone that knows me, and how obseeesssed I am with Joy Division I doubt that's news.  ;)  The song and the video had me grinning like mad and wanting to bounce around by the time it was done. 

Recently a wannabe suicide bomber was defeated by stairs.  I think I heard a Dalek stop saying Exterminate long enough to laugh at the fucker. 

The bomber was strapped and ready to go.  Heading down the stairs to leave for his mission.  He ends up falling down the stairs and blew up on on the way down.  Professor X greatest enemy strikes again.

The next vid should do well to wash the vileness of the Phelps family out of the minds eye.  I saw this on someone else's LJ and loved it.  This little girl at a mere 12 years old gives a great speech to a UN assembly.  She could give lessons to most adults I've known in my life.  Excellent.

I came across this vid yesterday.  My jaw dropped open in awe of so much vileness.  The Phelps family and Westboro "Church" never ceases to amaze me with how low and repulsive they are.

So.  Damn.  Bored.  I think today is going to be a slow day.  I should try to do something productive.  Instead I'm killing time until work.  *sigh*  I'll be on AIM and Yahoo IM if anyone wants to harass me.  Screen name for both is GammaCharge1977. 

I could believe Johnny Depp is even cooler than I already did, but damn.  While filming Sweeney Todd the movie came to a complete halt for 2 weeks while his daughter was hospitalized because of e. coli.  Apparently it wasn't sure if she was going to survive and Depp didn't know if he'd even return to the movie.  Eventually his daughter pulled through and is now fine.

Anyway, after that he went to the hospital to donate $2M to the hospital, took some of the doctors to the British premiere of Sweeney Todd... and had his Capt Jack costume flown over from LA.  Then spent 4 hours at the hospital in character telling bedtime stories to the children hospitalized.  The money part was very cool, but he's a famous enough actor I imagine he's able to spare the money.  The premiere is nice too, but doubtful it puts him out much.  The time about spending his time with the kids, giving not money, but of himself?  Oh wow.  That's the best part.  Imagine the stories you could tell 20 years from now if you were one of those patients?  Just the thought of it has me grinning like an idiot.

http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,23059189-5012974,00.html

Karlheinz Stockhausen died on December 5th.  I think most people reading this have no clue who he is.  Stockhausen is one of the most influential composers and musicians of the 20th century.  He was one of the very first electronic musicians.  He has influenced jazz, classic rock, industrial, electronic music, prog rock and probably more.  Musicians and bands that cite him as an influence range include Miles Davis, Frank Zappa, Sonic Youth, the Beatles, the Grateful Dead, Kraftwerk, Pink Floyd, Aphex Twin, Coil.  Through them his influenced has trickled down onto who knows how many musicians.  Music in general, but probably electronic music in particular would be very different without him.  I wish I had some of his pieces available so I could play some right now.  Here's to Stockhausen.

I love how sometimes I get "What the fuck is that?!" reactions from people when I play music at my place.  Though I have to admit.  Sometimes when I put my music collection on shuffle and I hear some of the stuff I have even I have to go "Huh?" and feel confused.  I'm feeling confused now.

... might end up having an early season finale.  Apparently in case the strike goes on indefinitely an alternate ending is being filmed for episode 11, the last episode before what would have been the hiatus.  So if by then there is still a strike going on they can wrap up the season instead of pissing off fans by leaving people hanging until who knows when.  Just when the season was getting interesting too.  BAH!

Oh no.  No.  They didn't.  I'm laughing so hard.  I literally doubled over.  My eyes are tearing up.  I had to pause for a second now to wipe a tear forming in one eye.  I came across a site that is trying to translate the entire Bible.  Old and New Testament.  Into LOLCat.  The LOLCat Bible.  Oh wow.  This amuses me waaayy more than it should.  Then again, I am a cat person.  A sample of the first 5 verses of Genesis:

Boreded Cieling Cat makinkgz Urf n stuffs

1 Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded the skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated it.

2 Da Urfs no had shapez An haded dark face, An Ceiling Cat rode invisible bike over teh waterz.

3 An Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? An lite wuz.4 An Ceiling Cat sawed teh lite, to seez stuffs, An splitted teh lite from dark but taht wuz ok cuz kittehs can see in teh dark An not tripz over nethin.5 An Ceiling Cat sayed light Day An dark no Day. It were FURST!!!1